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What is a happy marriage like?

dnacris

I know, it even sounds like a nonsense title. Why should someone have to write about what a happy marriage is like? Wouldn’t it be obvious for everyone?

Unfortunately not. From the number of couples my husband and I counsel, the reality is sad. People think it’s normal to fight all the time, curse each other, nullify each other, tolerate physical and virtual betrayal, pretend not to know about certain inconvenient friendships, and so on…

A happy marriage is an exchange of love. For love, you let go of anything that hinders you; it may be friendships, habits, behaviour, etc.

I’m going to speak about my marriage, but these things don’t happen only in mine; I see it in my parents and in many of my friends who have a happy marriage.

For love, Renato — who’s always been a homey, quiet person — speaks to me about his day and asks about mine.

For love, I — who always liked going out and socialising — am content with our calm life.

For love, Renato — who would love to work until he could take it no more — stops everything in order to spend time with me.

For love, I take care of everything in our house — from finances to house chores. Today, I have someone who helps me with these things — but I don’t stop doing it because of this.

We rarely argue, and when we do, it’s more of a debate of different opinions; and sometimes we agree to disagree. Not everything is done the way I want, and I’m not nullified because of this, on the contrary! I like knowing my husband is taking the lead and that it’s him who makes the final decision — this gives me an assurance that I have a protector and someone who cares for me, a true husband. I would hate to be the head in this relationship, Sometimes I’m impulsive and this would be a danger for the both of us!

I have a tendency to do things right there and then, which is different from him; he’s more grounded. He analyses things before doing anything — and this is a difference that completes us. Sometimes he needs my push, and sometimes I need his brake — our differences are good for us.

We like caressing each other, not only when we’re at home, but in public as well. We don’t feel embarrassed at all. If we feel like hugging and kissing, we do it no matter where we are. We like glancing at each other and speaking through our eyes…

One of the best moments we have is when we laugh. We tease each other, share funny things that happen during our day, remember funny scenes we see on TV and, lastly, we enjoy each other’s laugh!

I respect my husband and he respects me. I respect his time and he respects mine. I respect his quiet way of being and he respects the time I spend with my friends. I respect his economic ways and he respects my spending within our budget limits.

We don’t keep secrets from each other and we know where the other is at all times. We both have a pleasure in serving God, helping people, in having friendships within our faith, and in doing what we do every day.

After we started working together to help couples, our marriage became 100% better. Before it was good, but today it’s great!

The purpose of this post is not to cause jealousy but to show you, dear reader, what I mean when I say that you can also have a happy marriage. This isn’t just for me or my friends; this is for everyone who wants to do what we have decided to do.

A happy marriage takes work, but it’s worth it. Invest in your love life by attending the Love Talk Live seminars and take advantage of “The Seven Steps to Rebuilding Yourself” course that has started. I’m sure that at the end of it many people won’t even recognise themselves anymore.

Cristiane Cardoso

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